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Dang, it's been a long time since I hit that button.
I miss writing.
It's an outlet, to just sit down and sigh, and recount some memories.
All the small stuff that we just happen to forget.
The stuff that makes good stories, but you can't remember.

I feel like I don't have anything to really blog about, because life has been so busy lately.
It's hectic.
Frazzled.
Kind of just flash flooding.
And I don't have an umbrella.
Which means I should have TONS to write about.

I was going to maybe write about Christmas or something that seemed substantial.
A milestone, an event, something big.
But I can't even remember Christmas.
SEE.
Lalallaa.

Max learned to ride his bike last week.
I have a mini anxiety attack every single time he hops on that bike and starts pedaling.
Fast. Way too fast.
 

He has no fear.
Me? I have enough for the both of us.
I want to wrap his tiny little body in bubble wrap.
He hasn't really mastered how to stop.
And by mastered, I mean he just plain cannot stop himself.
AT ALL.
Consequently, he's flying RIGHT IN TO curbs, his siblings and an occasional brick wall.
And also -- all our neighbors parked cars.
My neighbors hate me.

Mason came home the other day and informed me that a few kids got skateboards for Christmas.
Cue anxiety attack.
I can handle bikes, even fast bikes....maybe.
But skateboards?
COUNT ME OUT.
"You know mom, some of the moms take their kids to SKATE PARKS. I mean it's no big deal or anything, I'm just saying".
No big deal. Just sayin'.
AND MOM?
Hold the phone, when did I stop being Mommy?
WHO IS THIS KID AND WHEN DID HE TURN 15?

So, umm, yeah, we went to the skate park.

On scooters.
With helmets.
And a baby.

All of which, apparently do NOT belong at a skate park.
I felt like I was on a game show - which of these things is not like the other?
But NO BIG DEAL.
Because, not sure that's the crowd I want my kindergarten hanging with anyway.
The boys though, they loved it.
They watched in admiration as the big dudes did tricks.
While I chased a baby who nearly got run over by skateboarders eleventy billion times.
ANXIETY.

Alexander.
Oh, man.
Where do I even begin with this guy?
Lately, he just wants to get "cozy" and drink lots of "muck".
And CHEEEEEEEEEEEESEEEEEE.

He mastered a big milestone for this house.
Self defense.
Man, he's got a feisty little swing.
Another milestone this week - his first full sentence:  "Max. HIT. OWWW. NO NO MAX".
Sigh.

And sometimes they get along.

Oh.
How could I forget?
It's basketball season!
We once again are rocking the tiny J's.

Man, basketball babies (I can still call them babies right?) are the cutest.
And apparently, mine...well, he's pretty good.
Mase scored six baskets the first game.
After each one he was BEAMING.
When the game ended lots of high fives were doled out.
Later in the car, I told him how proud I was of him and what a kick ass game he had.
His response... "Man I know, I totally crushed those guys."
Modesty isn't his strong suit. :)

NO BIG DEAL.

So things are happening.
I'm still here.
The dudes are here.
And I'll try to BE HERE - bliggity bloggin - more...recounting these sweet, fleeting moments.

Thankful.

I have a lot to be thankful for.
An abundance.
And I am thankful for all of it. Every single bit.
I've seen posts through newsfeeds of friends popping up on Facebook of daily thanks.
Giving thanks each day.
I've wanted to jump on the bandwagon for quite a while.
November 1st came and went and before I knew it, it just felt like I was too late to the game to start them.

So here I am.
Ready.
And since today is ACTUAL Thanksgiving, I'm right on time.

I am thankful for the obvious things, my family, a roof over my head, healthy children.
But the other stuff. The stuff between the lines is what I'm extra thankful for this year.

I'm thankful for my house.
A house that is constantly, full of noise.
Robust giggling, straight from baby bellies.
And it's not always giggling.
But you know I'm thankful for the shrieking, the crying, the little shouts of defiance and independence too.
Because a house full of noise, means a house full of people.
My people.

 And man, I just love these people.
If I had nothing else in the world, but them, I'd still have everything.
I am so thankful for all four of them.

I'm thankful for little hands.
All six of these little hands are different shapes and sizes.
They vary from really little to not-so-little-but-still really small.
Thankful for the creativity these little hands give live to.
Creations of many walks of life.
Lego towers and painted pumpkins.
But the real masterpiece is their actual hands.
Soft. Delicate. Delicious.
Thankful for those little hands that still reach up in the middle of a bedtime story to feel my cheek.
When they interlock with mine, unprompted on a walk.
So thankful for thirty fingers to lick syrup off of.
Six little hands to be thankful for.

Thankful for this guy.

Because this whole gig would be a lot less vibrant without him.
His humor.
His love.
His arms wrapped around me.
He is my comfort, my home, my best friend.
Thankful he chose me.
 

Thankful for the father he is to our boys.
The kind of dad that deserves medals, praise, extra hugs.
We are so lucky.
So blessed.

I'm thankful for siblings.
The siblings given to me.
Sisters.
Best friends.
Thankful for the late night laughs and bottles of wine we share.

The siblings I've given to them.

Thankful for their compassion and love they share for one another.
Thankful for the unprompted hugs and kisses I see them willingly exchange.
Thankful for these relationships and bonds that are wildly strong and never ending.
I'm thankful for coffee.
It's steamy and delicious.
It's rich.
And it helps me power through my day.
The smell of coffee. The sound of a fresh pot brewing, as the goodness drips to the bottom of the pot.
It reminds me of home.
Of mornings.
Many of which seem to start entirely too early.
Coffee and snuggles are always the beginning of a new day.
Thankful for each day.

This year has just been filled with so much color.
So much liveliness.
So much love.
So much noise.
SO MUCH HAPPINESS.

My cup is full.
My house is happy.
My children are a delight. The light of my life.
And my life? 
My life is completely different than I could have ever imagined.
My life is more than I could have ever asked for.


You build these castles in the sky, not entirely sure of what matters.
But now I think I know.
They say not to sweat the small stuff.
But the small stuff is what seems more important to me.
And I may not have it all.
But I do.
I have everything I need, everything that matters.

 I have all of them.

All of this.
All these little hidden wonders.
Like sticky floors from tossed bowls full of oatmeal.
And a backyard full of buckets and balls.
A table full of Sharpie decor.
It's the little things.
And I'm thankful for all of this.

Lastly, I'm thankful for another wonderful year to share with all the loving people who surround me.
Thankful for all the opportunities past and present.  
Thankful for it all.

funnies.

 I used to lots of posts about what funny stuff Mason was saying. I called them Mason-isms. Have I ever done a Max-ism? I can't even remember. He is at that age now where he says the cutest little things. It makes it way way better that his voice is so deep and so high all at the same time. He speaks cave-toddler.


I'm going to try and combine all their funnies for one post every month.
Here goes the October 2012 edition.

1. Mason learned a lot about maps and location and continents and such this month at school. He was explaining to me that at the bottom of a map was a key to explain what was where on a map. I kept nodding and uh-huh'ing. Then he said and this right here is the directions. NORTH. EAST. SOUTH. WEST. Quickly he did a little sing songy "Never eat soggy waffles!" Mason you are so smart, my natural reply. Because, y'all he is. We were about to broach teh next topic of his day when Max chimed in loudly and forcefully from teh back seat - "NO!" Mason and I exchanged glances. Confused glances. No? Okay then Max. "No. MASE! NEVER EAT TOMATOES". And then we all laughed a lot.

2. Mason's school enforces "old fashioned values". Also known as MANNERS. We have always been pretty good about reminding him to say the basics you know, please, no thank you....and simple ones like that. The other day he wasn't feeling too hot, so he got to stay home with me. The littles were at preschool, so it was just us, hanging. We wanted to get out of the house so we ran by Target for a little snack...as we are leaving he opens the front door of our house and goes "Ladies first". It was equal parts adorable and shocking. I kind of just stood there wondering when he became such a MAN and soaking up his proud, cherub looking face. He was staring back, but not all lovingly like I was. More in WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU GETTING ALL DOE EYED FOR MOM kind of way. He was like "Well, you *are* a lady...right?". Burn.

3. We painted pumpkins a couple weeks ago. It's an easy tradition to keep up with while their little. This year was Alexander's year to cover his face and body in paint rather then his pumpkin. While simultaneously eating it. Max kept scanning for me to intervene - I was coming to yank the paintbrush fear not. "Alexander YUCK we do not eat paint". As I'm walking off I hear Max whisper "Try blue and purple. Red is yucky". Welp, I tried.

4. Out to dinner and our server had her lip pierced. Max's eyes grew five times their normal size and he exclaimed, "PAPA HERS GOT A HOOK IN HER MOUTH. LIKE A FISH!" It took everything in me to not die of laughter right then and there.

5. Me: "Max I love you. So much".

    Max: "Yeah. I love your phone."

And they say chivalry is dead? HA.

6. Randoms. The way Max says "Why of course" whenever I ask him if he wants to do...well, anything.  Prim and proper around here folks. Why, of course :)

Those are the funnies I can remember. Next month I'm chronicling as I go.

I WILL NOT FORGET THE FUNNIES. Because in this house they are pretty much endless.

Lately.

We've been busy lately.
So, so, so busy.


Max started soccer. There aren't many things cuter then watching a handful of three and four year olds swarm a soccer ball. Max mainly likes to come sit with us on the sidelines. His first game required some bribery to get him to get in there. He runs real fast, waves and smiles then comes back to us and snacks. After game snacks are the best part of sports in his mind. I mean, rightfully.

 

We knocked off one of the six weddings we are in/attending this year. I love wedding season! Max was the ring bearer. Baby tuxes are one big, crazy implosion of adorable.

Most days if we get to it quick enough - it's park weather! My kids LOVE THE PARK.

Almost as much as they love riding bikes.
But not nearly as much as I love early morning and late night coffee, while watching them cruise the streets.

We celebrated our family's only princess. Izzie turned 4! Complete with cousins and cake, a water slide bounce house and pure chaos.

We had a crawfish boil to continue celebrating my birthday. I'm 26, which I know is really young...right? But dang, it feels so much older than 25.

Mason loving Kindergarten. SO MUCH.

We indulged in a nice date night with some wine.
I know, I know, I hooked myself a catch, huh? ;)

We took one final lake trip.
And a final beach trip as well.
Fun, sun, family. All my favorite people together at my favorite places. A little lucky, a lot blessed. Thankful for all of it.
The weekends were both beyond delightful.

So yes, we've been busy.
Enjoying every minute of this hustling and bustling. Hoping to sit down and blog soon. And breathe.

September.

Happy September!
School has started back. I know, it was like, totally, JUST SUMMER.

But just like that the season changes.

We are all back in the groove here. The nice change of structure and routine has hit and we've all adjusted wonderfully. Early bedtimes and crisp little uniform tees. Full backpacks by the front door.
I love September. It easily battles May as my favorite month.

This happened.

And no one even asked if I was okay with it.
Growing up without my permission? Who does this kid think he is?
A handsome kindergartner I suppose.
He is. Handsome that is.
OH RIGHT...AND IN CASE YOU DIDN'T READ HIS SIGN...A KINDERGARTNER.

At least he is my very own handsome kindergartner.


For a few days, it was just me and these guys.

Hanging.
Missing our biggest man.

Mason is loving school. I knew he would. He is just such a little rule follower. Major Type A kind of dude. I'm so glad he is enjoying the school year thus far. I know it's only been a week, but I think his enthusiasm will keep up throughout the year. His teachers are amazingly sweet. They seem to have oodles of patience, and lots of fun things in store for the year. I can't wait to see how much he grows and learns.

And even though I miss him immensely. It's been nice to have some down time to snuggle these guys. It's a different season, a new chapter, and it's a change no doubt, but it's nice. We are all learning this new schedule. Most days the littles seem to enjoy their time as a duo & we kill lots of time playing outside.

And get giddy for 2:45 pickup.

Max also started preschool this August.
He isn't loving it quite as much. He's a little home body and just wants to hang with me.
How scrumptious is this little peanut?

I will admit I had full authority of dressing him and 99% of the time he wears superhero shirts and little tiny gym shorts with mismatched Crocs. But SWOON. Those saddle shoes and gingham shorts....be still my heart.

Then there is THIS MUNCHKIN.

Yes, he also started Mom's Day Out! I can't even believe it. Oh, he is just so freaking cute. I don't even care how biased I sound. He is the most delicious, gorgeous toddler ALIVE.
And those knee socks? SERIOUSLY... I know.
HE MELTS ME LIKE WARM BUTTER.

He's perfected the "CHEEEESE". Which is equal parts hilarious and adorable. I'll have to do a separate post on all those pictures though.

I still can't believe it's *already* Septemeber and that summer has ended.
Wah.

Okay okay, I'll admit the start of a new school year is refreshing. It just comes with so much anticipation, excitement and newness. Now only if it came along with some relief from the 100 degrees days. DANG.
I mean it is September, when can we claim that its fall??

Happy fall (?) y'all.

For a minute.

Today I woke up before the sun.
Yet my first born beat me. He has always been an early riser. Summer seems to make him wake earlier.
It wasn't soon after his awakening when the begging for breakfast began.
Before I knew it six little hands were diving in to cheesy, fluffy eggs.
Thirty fingers were coated in cinnamon sugar.

Somewhere between whisking eggs and buttering toasts, I brewed some coffee.
The aroma filled the room. Taunting those of us over the age of five.
Ahh, that smell. The sweet smell of sanity.
Lingering.
And then I poured myself a cup of steaming deliciousness.
Black. Crisp. Strong.
And not to mention, my favorite mug.

For a minute, I thought to myself...I'm getting good at this.
Breakfast served and kitchen cleaned by 7:45. It's going to be a good day.

I walked over to sit on the couch and bargain with the tyrants for a switch in television channels. There is only so much Ninjago one can handle before 8:00 AM. Can I get an amen??
The bargaining...well it didn't work. But my coffee was still hot.
I'd settle for that.

And then, they wanted MORE.
The pleading began, subtly and the before I knew it little voices were filling the kitchen. Again.
More eggs, more toast, more sticky cinnamon fingers.
I think the warnings about our grocery bill quadrupling started the day we found out Alexander was indeed another boy. A few people waited until he started table food. All those people were wrong. My preschoolers...well they have teenage boy appetites and last time I checked no one was in high school.
I obliged.
Sipping my no-longer-steaming coffee in between washing sugary hands.

For a brief minute, I thought to myself this job is never ending.
The reality, IT WAS 9 AM.
Then, Mason taught Max how to clean the kitchen table. Together, they sat there and doused my table in soap and water.
They sponged away.
Giggling.
Making more mess then cleaning, but together....with no competition and arguing.

Then.. I thought they make it all SO WORTH IT.  When it's good. Even when it's never ending.

The day progressed smoothly, we ran a few errands. Swung by the gym. I doled out some (read: enough for a small army) snacks. The baby went down for his nap with no fight AT ALL. If any part of my day seems to flash before my eyes it's nap time.

The biggies agreed to watch The Lorax. Together. ON THE SAME COUCH.
They even shared a blanket.
I thought for a minute, wow, this is calm. Relaxing even?

I even let Max talk me out of an afternoon nap. WHY SWEET BABY JESUS? I will never know what made me lapse in judgement. I love him so very much. I love every minute I spend with him. But home slice is just NOT ready to skip his naps. 

Fifteen minutes in to our serene afternoon "quiet time" theater showing.
Max started cart-wheeling. And hopping around like a crazy man. Just jamming in his own little world.

I want to know the source of his energy? Then I'd like to siphon 1/8 of it away from him and store it for myself for the next 50 years.
OR SELL IT PERHAPS.
It didn't take long for Mason to follow suit and by 2:30 my living room was a GODDAMN ninja training arena. Mini ninjas were on the loose.

That's when I started thinking...Dang. How am I going to make it until bedtime? But at least the baby is asleep. Until they needed ninja gear from upstairs. Suddenly the baby was no longer in that sweet slumber.

We headed outside. Fresh air is my go to cure for the crazies.
We "played chalk". Got eaten alive by mosquitoes in 100 degree weather. But y'all, chalk makes me happy.
The rest of my afternoon flew by. Swiftly.
 Only once did I have to remind them that we don't "chalk the baby up".  Two children were more than half way unclothed. I WIN.

I thought, I love afternoons like this. I LOVE PLAYING CHALK.

Mason drew our family...everyone was peach and tan. I was stark white. Casper. Brutally honest. Thanks dude. We chatted and he told me some stories, about the wishes he'd made today and about the dream he had the night before last. He told me how excited he is that Kindergarten is coming soon and how it's really silly that Max believes there are real monsters in their room (ummm, because MASON TELLS HIM SO). He even kissed my cheek, got his brothers some water and buckled the helmet on the baby.
All unprompted.

I thought wow..he's a good kid. A really good one. I must be doing something right. I must be  am lucky. Incredibly so.
I am really going to miss the days when he doesn't want to sit outside with my at 4:00 and draw self portraits. And hearts. And smooch me.
And share nicely with his siblings.
Because we are going to be at football practice or swim meets.

And then he pushed Max straight off his bike.
And I thought this isn't fun...this is really challenging.
How do I punish my sweet, sensitive boy after he was so helpful and charismatic?

After the five thirty meltdown we moved inside.
Hello, air conditioning.
And also, dinner time. Why is Easy Mac not an acceptable meal seven nights a week?
I spent some time persuading...or brainwashing them to believe that tomato soup was just "slimy ketchup". Why do little boys love slime so much?
Dinner dilemma solved. It was gobbled up and all over the floor in ten minutes.

Bathtime assembly line began.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Lather, rinse.
Freshly bathed babies. All in a row on my bed.
Heads full of damp waves and curls and spikes.  Sleepy eyes on the horizon.

Around 7:00 a knight in shining armor arrived. Also known as daddy. He finished the dishes and joked with the biggies while I rocked the baby to bed.
I thought for a long few minutes, man, this is sweet. And I love this part of the day.
When he lays contently on my chest and plays with my hair.
And drifts off to sleep.

Bedtime with the older two isn't so dreamy. There aren't many rainbow and butterfly feelings to it. It takes  some stern "no more getting up for anything" talks. And a lot of "I'm really serious about getting up again" conversations.
After jammies were on and books were read. Lights were out.
Silence.
Can you hear it?
And then, someone wanted water. And one more kiss.
At 8 someone had to pee. Again. And maybe ONE LAST KISS.

A few minutes before sitting down to write this, I peeked in on all of them.
Soundly sleeping. Dreaming of grand things I hope.
Each of them smelling like coconut shampoo.
And lavender calm lotion.
Quiet. Angelic. Tranquility.

Sweet little boys, a gift to me. I've been given the gift of raising them.
Each of their very cherished lives entrusted to me. All of their days mine to fill with joy and happiness.

And I thought for a minute, the thing about this job is...
well it starts before the sun and doesn't come with an allotted coffee breaks.
This job is good and undoubtedly never ending.
AND IT IS WORTH IT.
They make it worth it.
When they're peacefully tucked away in their beds.
Even when their ninjas.

I thought for a minute this job. I love it. Every bit of it, it's challenging and fulfilling and sweet.
And there is no gig in this world I'd prefer, then working for these three dudes.

Twenty one days.

We have just twenty one days until this guy starts Kindergarten.

 I feel like I just woke up from a midnight feeding session of snuggling him and indulging his sweet newborn scent. And now it's August. Five years later.

People always tell you "You are going to miss this" and "Don't blink, they grow so quickly". Is it just me or does it seem like you are always so kindly reminded of this by others when your two year old won't stay in his highchair, is flinging his ketchup, and your husband and you are attempting to "tag team" your crew so each of you can quickly finish your lukewarm dinner. I'm going to miss this? As the day creeps closer.... I'm starting to think they just might be on to something.

Don't get me wrong, I will gladly partake in a hot meal where all (or most) of my children stay seated and condiments aren't worn on all of our clothing as we leave the establishment, which hopefully doesn't have to have a play scape. I won't miss that. But it all seems to go hand in hand.
And him. Oh I am going to miss him. A lot.

The harmonized, yet unorganized chaos is just life right now.
And now it's all going to change.
It's just the beginning of the change.

These uncharted waters are what make it so difficult. It's not that it's sad. Or scary. It's just unknown. And it is change. And I know change is good, but its never very easy.

I've been able to to have him pretty much all to myself for five and a half years. Now, I'm going to have to share him daily. He is so excited and anxious to start this new chapter of his life as a school aged kid. He really is. So I am really excited for him. I know he's ready. In May, as he graduated from his preschool class, I thought I was ready. And now, I just don't know. A big ole patchwork of mama bear emotions seemed to surface today. 

I plan to relish these last twenty days of summer.

Just enjoying his company.
Admiring his smile, appreciating his curiosity. 
Delighting in his laughter.
I want to stay up past bedtime, draw on his back while his breathing slows and his eyelids get heavy.
And watch his eyes light up as he realizes we are up way too late.

Each picture of him I take lately I seem to analyze. He looks SO OLD. Yet, he looks exactly as I remember him the minute he was first handed to me. Pink, tiny, new.
His eyes golden and twinkling. His lashes thick, substantial, and oh, so long. His lips pursed, soft, the color of a pale rose. His head all fuzzy and perfect. 
A treasure.
Mine.

I knew these years would fly by and man, have they ever. These next twenty one days are going to fly too. I already know it. Too soon our time together will be limited and shared.
We are going to paint the town. I am going to drink him in.

Cause damn, MY BABY IS GOING TO KINDERGARTEN IN JUST TWENTY ONE DAYS.