Thursday, June 24, 2010

maximo, you're ONE.

And a year ago, this was us. The four of us. Not just three. This time last year we had just welcomed a fourth member to our family. Yup, this time last year we were four.

Which technically must mean that my baby is now officially a year old. A whole year ago we were snuggling a brand new baby boy, now that baby isn't so new, but we still snuggle him a lot. the best part is now he snuggles back, most of the time.

We have a walking, major babbling, super cute, teething, will eat anything one year old baby boy! We celebrated nearly two weeks ago with a pirate party. He was in love with his foam sword and his icing topped cake.

Maximo you have added a dynamic to this family that is irreplaceable. You are a perfect fit. I will never forget the feeling of anxiety and uncertainty I felt about adding another baby to our family. The minute I saw your dark eyes I felt silly for ever wondering if I could love another baby the way I already loved your brother. Simply foolish really.

I still like to stare in to your eyes when your tired and willing to lay quiet and still cradled in my arms. I have tried so many times to tilt you just right to see your pupils gleam in the light and yet, a whole year later I've still never seen them. Your eyes are so dark and mysterious and beautiful. Your eyes shine when you smile - which has pretty much what you've done the last 300 something days of your life. The first grin was just the beginning. And you know what? I think the world is really damn lucky that they get to see your smile so much.

I wanted to write you a letter telling you how much I love you and how much the past year has changed me as a person and a mother. How lucky I feel to have you as my son. How lucky your father is to have you as a son. How lucky we all are to have you in our lives. I wanted to tell you how much work it really was to have a second child and how worth it it's been. I wanted to tell you how exciting it was when we saw you take more than two consecutive steps. We may or may not have yelled like we won the lottery - it was pretty damn exciting. I wanted to tell you how entertaining it was watching you hold a pinata stick that easily had 12 inches on you.

But mostly I want to tell you how incredibly awesome you are. I don't really know how to put in to words my love for you. You have shown me unbiased, nonjudgmental, pure love. Love at it's rawest form. The kind of love you don't think twice about. And I've only know you 366 days. that is how truly incredible you are. I mentioned earlier the beauty of your smile - but it barely touches the surface of the beauty you possess. There is something about you that is really special and I think your smile just reassures everyone of that.

You've come a long way in just one short year. It flew by. It was filled with tons of laughing - deep, contagious, makes people smile belly laughing. It was filled with lots of sippy cup refusing and throwing. It was filled with stained onesies, many changed diapers, a ton of midnight (and all hour of the night wakings). It was filled with smiles, excitement and many milestones. It was filled with birthday cake and doctor visits. It was filled with a few bumps, bruises and 8 new teeth. It was filled with love. Pure love. Raw love. Genuine love.

I love you more than I can even explain, but I hope this came close to touching the surface of the love I want you to know you bring. Happy first birthday, to you, Maximo William. Yay, we survived our first year!

Monday, June 14, 2010


I am super slacking on my blog. I'm so sorry - to myself. One of my main goals this year was to keep up with my blog. For the boys, for family, but really for myself. I really, really want to remember every little thing the boys are doing in detail. All the snuggles, the laughs, hell even the midday tantrums that having me wishing my childbearing days were over (though let's be honest who doesn't want to kiss newborn skin again?!?).

I am vowing myself back to blog world...if for no one else then myself. Because if were being honest (again) this blog is all for remember and cherish these days when sometime in the near future I'm wishing for 3 o clock meltdowns, a pathway of crushed goldfish crackers under my feet. Would it be crazy to think I'll miss the insane amount of laundry as well? Perhaps the laundry just doubles with age.

And what better to end a promising post than a picture of jammied "babies". Because let's be honest (one last time) they aren't little babies anymore, right? Or are they? Because sometimes at night I want to scoop my firstborn up (baby or NOT) and snuggle the hell out of him. And even though he doesn't have the novelty of newborn skin smell - he smells like something much better - he smells just like himself. So cheers to better blogging. Cheers to my babies. Or big kids or whatever the hell they are - one thing I know is they are MINE and in this picture...well they smelled sweeter than newborns. They smelled like sweet, sweet baby shampoo ready for

And let's be honest (I know, overkill...really) but if you think you know what is cuter than matching jammies, please don't tell me, because I love thinking it's probably (read: definitely) the cutest thing I've ever seen on this planet. Goodnight BABIES. Because honestly, that's what you'll ALWAYS be to this mama, my babies.