Monday, November 3, 2014

Halloween 2014.


This year for the first year I could not convince my children to be a trio of themed characters. If you know me well, you know I slowly died inside. It was also the first year my children wouldn't decide on ANYTHING until October. Usually, we start  discussing costumes in June. And they are solidified by July and likely ordered by August. Not this year folks, because INDECISIVE. Except AQ. He was all "I am going to be the Joker from Batman, but not Batman, the BAD GUY with BLOODY LIPS!" Not creepy at all. He never wavered from this decision. I was SURE he would want to be Batman or you know a Ninja Turtle or something most three year olds want to be.

He's just extra awesome. My child who will not sit still for a meal, to have his nails cut, or for any extended period of time, sat quietly and still while I doctored his face up with paint. DEDICATION, folks. After finishinghis make-up the night of Halloween (we did multiple trial runs - every time he loved it) he ran to the full size mirror in my bathroom and came back with the BIGGEST, PROUDEST smile. He was beaming. "I look perfect, Mama." Well, duh.

Mason and Max were set on being hockey players. Mighty Duck players specifically. It was seriously impossible to find them jerseys. WHAT IS THIS 2014 OR SOMETHING? (1999 forever, or when did that movie even come out?) Luckily, you can custom order anything. And so the Bash Brothers came to life.

The night was perfect...filled with running down streets giggling. I'm kidding, ten houses in all three of my kids NEEDED to be carried, could no longer walk and had to pee. And I think everyone was DYING OF THIRST. Trick or treatin, man, it's tough work these days. We didn't last long, but I am fairly certain we have enough candy to stuff their stockings with. And that's all that really matters right?

Monday, March 17, 2014

AQ turns 3.


Well,  just like my little baby friend are THREE. Three is always kind of a sad age for me, because well, THREE. Two year olds are still babies, they need an incredible amount of support to survive, I mean they can't even pee alone. But three year olds. They CAN DO IT BY MESELF! And this time, it is extra sad because you are MY LAST THREE YEAR OLD EVER. Sob.

You are an expert snuggler. You have the sweetest smile. And when you're real happy, you turn your face downward and nuzzle into my shoulder or a pillow. It's an attempt at coy.  You adore both of your big brothers. Like they hung the damn moon type love. And the feeling from them is mutual. They dote on you lovingly. You make them laugh harder than anyone and everyone.

From the day you were born you pretty much completed our family. Just seven pounds of pure satisfaction. Yup, he's what we needed. Didn't know we were missing anything - and you came along and we knew. We had totally been missing YOU.

 And still today, we need you. Each morning we all wait to hear your tiny little feet run in to the kitchen, with your sleepy eyes and cartoon character pitched voice. Such a delight. Just what we all need. I hope throughout your many years you continue to possess the quality of joy. The other day I asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up? I was fully anticipating you to say a baseball player, due to your new infatuation with all things baseball. Instead you told me you were going to be so happy. And geez, I know with all my heart that is true. Happiness. You brought it to us when you were born, you bring it to us everyday with your silliness, and every night you leave a little happiness in my heart as I watch your eyelids go heavy and your breathing turn to tiny snores.

Most mornings you come downstairs and quietly (and sneakily) climb in to bed with me. You fall sound asleep for the next few hours. I am fairly certain you think you are getting away with some big crime.  I never really open my eyes, but I don't have to, I know its you. Sometimes you take your soft, cold little hands and push my bangs out of my face to see if you are going to be caught. It's not that I'm too tired to take you back to your crib. It's just I don't want to. I want to savor the next hour feeling you breathe next to me. And there is nothing sweeter than being woken up to a little toddler kiss. You are the sweetest little muffin in the land.

Currently you love baseball, waffles and carousels. Oh, the carousel! You ask daily if we can go ride it. And a lot of days, I take you. Cause, MAN! How can you say no to these twinkling eyes? You love to play baseball with the boys and no matter what really happens you always protest loudly about your HOMERUN. No one has the heart to argue with you.

There is so much about you being three that I love. I want to remember it all, though I will certainly forget the majority. I want to remember how you always held both cheeks of my face before kissing me. I want to remember how you loved to have dance parties before school. How you would shuffle your little feet, swap your tiny hips and sing like no on was watching. I want to remember how you would not go to bed with out socks on and being read to a million times. So much so that you can recite four or five books by memory. I want to remember how excited you get each morning before school. Three looks good on you baby.

Happy happy birthday Alexander. I love you so much it hurts.

Friday, February 15, 2013


Dear Mase,

It's that time of year again. Time for the obligatory birthday letter. Happy birthday sweetness! Today you turn six. SIX. I can hardly even believe it. Years go by so fast, even when the days go slowly. These birthdays seem to come faster and faster, year by year. It all happens in such a blur, then suddenly I'm tucking you in for the last time ever as a five year old.
Just like that -- SIX. 

This morning you tiptoed downstairs in to bed with me and whispered "Mommy, guess what? I'm finally six." Finally? More like already. ALREADY SIX?? Your voice was raspy and dry still with dripping with sleepiness. Then you inched over closer and closer until you could place your head right on my chest. Instinctively, I leaned down and kissed your forehead. Your soft hair tickled my nose and I breathed you in. All six years of you.

It always amazes me that no matter how big you get, your head always fits perfectly on my chest. I still remember when they handed you to me for the very first time.
You had this puffy little face, your forehead all wrinkled and these big eyes you could hardly keep open. Just staring up at me. It was as if you were asking...well here I am, now what? I was probably thinking the very same thing. But, without hesitation our eyes locked again and I kissed your forehead and I breathed you in. Minutes old. Flawless. Helpless. But mine. Snuggled warmly right on my chest.

You have grown so much in six years. This year though was different.  You have left all traces of toddlerhood and preschooler in the dust.   You have matured in to this fascinating little boy. Full of questions and conversations and introspection. You've are curious by nature. Even as a tiny little guy you would ask questions. After questions. And then you would ask more questions. I'm sure all kids do this to some extent. But you have consistently stuck with it. Nonstop. Parents joke about it. The "why" phase. And a lot of parents complain.
I get it. It's trying. And tiring. And damn, I don't know why I don't believe in aliens or what trap would be best to catch the tooth fairy? I have no idea why Garfield is in love with lasagna or what kind of bike Abraham Lincoln rode.
But the questions, just never stop them.
Sometimes people don't know the answers and sometimes there are no answers. But you should always ask. Don't let people take your curiosity or swipe the wonder from your mind. Ever.

And you've grown physically too. Stretched a few inches taller. Your cheeks have virtually zero baby fat left. Teeth are wiggling and falling out.
And you've grown emotionally.
Your friendships are flourishing.
The shyness you have always possessed has faded.
Your humor is starting to take shape. You quip hilarious phrases and make silly jokes. You've acquired a bit of sarcasm and a few days ago you tried to convince me that you love me more than I love you. Oh Mase. I will always love you more.

You just have all these wonderful qualities that are shining through this year. You are full of compassion and integrity. You are sincere and genuine. You are confident, always smiling. Radiating happiness. You are considerate and tenderhearted. Your tiny little soul is full to the very brim with just so much good. And I wonder, how did I get so lucky? Why me? Because you are a joy to mother. And you've taught me so much in so little time. As you have grown and changed, so have I. All because of you.

One of my favorite things about you is we've gotten to navigate this together. This gift of motherhood. Parenting. Growing. Living. Before you I didn't know how to be a mom. Before you, I wasn't quite sure of my ability to bust out the lyrics to any lullaby on demand. Or how to lather tiny leg rolls in poignant lavender lotion. I was definitely leery of my ability to love so deeply and vulnerably. I will always appreciate the gift you gave me in making me a mother. This role you've given me is fulfilling and it is exciting, and sometimes it is downright terrifying.
But from day one of this journey, you've be there with me. Growing inside me, then growing in front of me, now growing beside me. And even though you don't know it, your smile and happiness...helps me figure out how to keep on doing it. My very own little compass in the uncharted waters of raising little dudes.

So today you are six. And I want you to know today and tomorrow and everyday of your life that I am incredibly lucky to call you mine. Thank you for teaching me the true meaning of unconditional love. And thank you for being you.
You are more special to me than you will ever know. Then the words in this letter could ever really express.
But, today, I hope you feel a tiny fraction of the love I feel for you.

Happy, happy birthday sweet baby.
Today and always I love you...MORE.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Create new post.

Create new post.
Dang, it's been a long time since I hit that button.
I miss writing.
It's an outlet, to just sit down and sigh, and recount some memories.
All the small stuff that we just happen to forget.
The stuff that makes good stories, but you can't remember.

I feel like I don't have anything to really blog about, because life has been so busy lately.
It's hectic.
Kind of just flash flooding.
And I don't have an umbrella.
Which means I should have TONS to write about.

I was going to maybe write about Christmas or something that seemed substantial.
A milestone, an event, something big.
But I can't even remember Christmas.

Max learned to ride his bike last week.
I have a mini anxiety attack every single time he hops on that bike and starts pedaling.
Fast. Way too fast.

He has no fear.
Me? I have enough for the both of us.
I want to wrap his tiny little body in bubble wrap.
He hasn't really mastered how to stop.
And by mastered, I mean he just plain cannot stop himself.
Consequently, he's flying RIGHT IN TO curbs, his siblings and an occasional brick wall.
And also -- all our neighbors parked cars.
My neighbors hate me.

Mason came home the other day and informed me that a few kids got skateboards for Christmas.
Cue anxiety attack.
I can handle bikes, even fast bikes....maybe.
But skateboards?
"You know mom, some of the moms take their kids to SKATE PARKS. I mean it's no big deal or anything, I'm just saying".
No big deal. Just sayin'.
Hold the phone, when did I stop being Mommy?

So, umm, yeah, we went to the skate park.

On scooters.
With helmets.
And a baby.

All of which, apparently do NOT belong at a skate park.
I felt like I was on a game show - which of these things is not like the other?
Because, not sure that's the crowd I want my kindergarten hanging with anyway.
The boys though, they loved it.
They watched in admiration as the big dudes did tricks.
While I chased a baby who nearly got run over by skateboarders eleventy billion times.

Oh, man.
Where do I even begin with this guy?
Lately, he just wants to get "cozy" and drink lots of "muck".

He mastered a big milestone for this house.
Self defense.
Man, he's got a feisty little swing.
Another milestone this week - his first full sentence:  "Max. HIT. OWWW. NO NO MAX".

And sometimes they get along.

How could I forget?
It's basketball season!
We once again are rocking the tiny J's.

Man, basketball babies (I can still call them babies right?) are the cutest.
And apparently, mine...well, he's pretty good.
Mase scored six baskets the first game.
After each one he was BEAMING.
When the game ended lots of high fives were doled out.
Later in the car, I told him how proud I was of him and what a kick ass game he had.
His response... "Man I know, I totally crushed those guys."
Modesty isn't his strong suit. :)


So things are happening.
I'm still here.
The dudes are here.
And I'll try to BE HERE - bliggity bloggin - more...recounting these sweet, fleeting moments.

Thursday, November 22, 2012


I have a lot to be thankful for.
An abundance.
And I am thankful for all of it. Every single bit.
I've seen posts through newsfeeds of friends popping up on Facebook of daily thanks.
Giving thanks each day.
I've wanted to jump on the bandwagon for quite a while.
November 1st came and went and before I knew it, it just felt like I was too late to the game to start them.

So here I am.
And since today is ACTUAL Thanksgiving, I'm right on time.

I am thankful for the obvious things, my family, a roof over my head, healthy children.
But the other stuff. The stuff between the lines is what I'm extra thankful for this year.

I'm thankful for my house.
A house that is constantly, full of noise.
Robust giggling, straight from baby bellies.
And it's not always giggling.
But you know I'm thankful for the shrieking, the crying, the little shouts of defiance and independence too.
Because a house full of noise, means a house full of people.
My people.

 And man, I just love these people.
If I had nothing else in the world, but them, I'd still have everything.
I am so thankful for all four of them.

I'm thankful for little hands.
All six of these little hands are different shapes and sizes.
They vary from really little to not-so-little-but-still really small.
Thankful for the creativity these little hands give live to.
Creations of many walks of life.
Lego towers and painted pumpkins.
But the real masterpiece is their actual hands.
Soft. Delicate. Delicious.
Thankful for those little hands that still reach up in the middle of a bedtime story to feel my cheek.
When they interlock with mine, unprompted on a walk.
So thankful for thirty fingers to lick syrup off of.
Six little hands to be thankful for.

Thankful for this guy.

Because this whole gig would be a lot less vibrant without him.
His humor.
His love.
His arms wrapped around me.
He is my comfort, my home, my best friend.
Thankful he chose me.

Thankful for the father he is to our boys.
The kind of dad that deserves medals, praise, extra hugs.
We are so lucky.
So blessed.

I'm thankful for siblings.
The siblings given to me.
Best friends.
Thankful for the late night laughs and bottles of wine we share.

The siblings I've given to them.

Thankful for their compassion and love they share for one another.
Thankful for the unprompted hugs and kisses I see them willingly exchange.
Thankful for these relationships and bonds that are wildly strong and never ending.
I'm thankful for coffee.
It's steamy and delicious.
It's rich.
And it helps me power through my day.
The smell of coffee. The sound of a fresh pot brewing, as the goodness drips to the bottom of the pot.
It reminds me of home.
Of mornings.
Many of which seem to start entirely too early.
Coffee and snuggles are always the beginning of a new day.
Thankful for each day.

This year has just been filled with so much color.
So much liveliness.
So much love.
So much noise.

My cup is full.
My house is happy.
My children are a delight. The light of my life.
And my life? 
My life is completely different than I could have ever imagined.
My life is more than I could have ever asked for.

You build these castles in the sky, not entirely sure of what matters.
But now I think I know.
They say not to sweat the small stuff.
But the small stuff is what seems more important to me.
And I may not have it all.
But I do.
I have everything I need, everything that matters.

 I have all of them.

All of this.
All these little hidden wonders.
Like sticky floors from tossed bowls full of oatmeal.
And a backyard full of buckets and balls.
A table full of Sharpie decor.
It's the little things.
And I'm thankful for all of this.

Lastly, I'm thankful for another wonderful year to share with all the loving people who surround me.
Thankful for all the opportunities past and present.  
Thankful for it all.

Thursday, November 1, 2012


 I used to lots of posts about what funny stuff Mason was saying. I called them Mason-isms. Have I ever done a Max-ism? I can't even remember. He is at that age now where he says the cutest little things. It makes it way way better that his voice is so deep and so high all at the same time. He speaks cave-toddler.

I'm going to try and combine all their funnies for one post every month.
Here goes the October 2012 edition.

1. Mason learned a lot about maps and location and continents and such this month at school. He was explaining to me that at the bottom of a map was a key to explain what was where on a map. I kept nodding and uh-huh'ing. Then he said and this right here is the directions. NORTH. EAST. SOUTH. WEST. Quickly he did a little sing songy "Never eat soggy waffles!" Mason you are so smart, my natural reply. Because, y'all he is. We were about to broach teh next topic of his day when Max chimed in loudly and forcefully from teh back seat - "NO!" Mason and I exchanged glances. Confused glances. No? Okay then Max. "No. MASE! NEVER EAT TOMATOES". And then we all laughed a lot.

2. Mason's school enforces "old fashioned values". Also known as MANNERS. We have always been pretty good about reminding him to say the basics you know, please, no thank you....and simple ones like that. The other day he wasn't feeling too hot, so he got to stay home with me. The littles were at preschool, so it was just us, hanging. We wanted to get out of the house so we ran by Target for a little we are leaving he opens the front door of our house and goes "Ladies first". It was equal parts adorable and shocking. I kind of just stood there wondering when he became such a MAN and soaking up his proud, cherub looking face. He was staring back, but not all lovingly like I was. More in WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU GETTING ALL DOE EYED FOR MOM kind of way. He was like "Well, you *are* a lady...right?". Burn.

3. We painted pumpkins a couple weeks ago. It's an easy tradition to keep up with while their little. This year was Alexander's year to cover his face and body in paint rather then his pumpkin. While simultaneously eating it. Max kept scanning for me to intervene - I was coming to yank the paintbrush fear not. "Alexander YUCK we do not eat paint". As I'm walking off I hear Max whisper "Try blue and purple. Red is yucky". Welp, I tried.

4. Out to dinner and our server had her lip pierced. Max's eyes grew five times their normal size and he exclaimed, "PAPA HERS GOT A HOOK IN HER MOUTH. LIKE A FISH!" It took everything in me to not die of laughter right then and there.

5. Me: "Max I love you. So much".
    Max: "Yeah. I love your phone."

And they say chivalry is dead? HA.

6. Randoms. The way Max says "Why of course" whenever I ask him if he wants to do...well, anything.  Prim and proper around here folks. Why, of course :)

Those are the funnies I can remember. Next month I'm chronicling as I go.

I WILL NOT FORGET THE FUNNIES. Because in this house they are pretty much endless.

Thursday, October 11, 2012


We've been busy lately.
So, so, so busy.

Max started soccer. There aren't many things cuter then watching a handful of three and four year olds swarm a soccer ball. Max mainly likes to come sit with us on the sidelines. His first game required some bribery to get him to get in there. He runs real fast, waves and smiles then comes back to us and snacks. After game snacks are the best part of sports in his mind. I mean, rightfully.

We knocked off one of the six weddings we are in/attending this year. I love wedding season! Max was the ring bearer. Baby tuxes are one big, crazy implosion of adorable.

Most days if we get to it quick enough - it's park weather! My kids LOVE THE PARK.

Almost as much as they love riding bikes.
But not nearly as much as I love early morning and late night coffee, while watching them cruise the streets.

We celebrated our family's only princess. Izzie turned 4! Complete with cousins and cake, a water slide bounce house and pure chaos.

We had a crawfish boil to continue celebrating my birthday. I'm 26, which I know is really young...right? But dang, it feels so much older than 25.

Mason loving Kindergarten. SO MUCH.

We indulged in a nice date night with some wine.
I know, I know, I hooked myself a catch, huh? ;)

We took one final lake trip.
And a final beach trip as well.
Fun, sun, family. All my favorite people together at my favorite places. A little lucky, a lot blessed. Thankful for all of it.
The weekends were both beyond delightful.

So yes, we've been busy.
Enjoying every minute of this hustling and bustling. Hoping to sit down and blog soon. And breathe.