Monday, March 1, 2010


I know it's common parental practice to think you have the most beautiful baby who then becomes the most developmentally advanced toddler ever who obviously turns in to most intelligent, borderline genius preschooler. Right? Oh wait..that's just me? I do think that sometimes and rightfully because Mason can put a puzzle together in .5 seconds, that totally qualifies him for Harvard Law right? Okay, okay, I get it, I'm biased, slightly, would you prefer the term considerably biased?

Biased or not, Mason is a hoot. That kid comes up with some off the wall, hilarious stuff. I feel like I'm always cracking up. Many nights, after bitty's are tucked in and I go to relive a story with Michael I have this mental block, like I can't remember a damn thing that happened all day long (except the multiple "meals" I cooked, had refused and thrown away for the boys).

Essentially that is why I started this blog. For myself to remember the good, the bad, the ugly when the boys aren't so little and maybe not wanting to be their mom's best (or only) friend. I feel like I don't share enough of the conversations, so I'm going to start recording all the funny's Mason comes up with. These are what I call "Mason-isms".

So far this week he's cracked us up with the following:

1.On the walk home from the park I asked Mason for one goldfish cracker. He looked at me slightly perplexed, mildy peeved and sighed "Okay mommy, just one. Listen to my words, (slowly speaking and raising him voice) JUST ONE, DO YOU HEAR MY WORDS MOMMY?" After I took just one as firmly instructed, he said "Oh mommy I like it when you listen to me. You a good wittle girl". Listen is usually pronounced "wissen". I guess he's been listening to my words a little much.

2.For this one you need a little back story.

{Mason has this overkill obsession with playing on my computer. The V-Tech kid laptop, no, no that is not enough. Let's get our hands real greasy and sticky and play mommy's computer. Anyway, we try to keep it educational and all that jazz and let's get real, how much trouble can a kid get into on Sesame Street's website. No matter the time limit he's given, a fit always ensues when it's time to get off the computer and do anything else. So usually we have to get all bossy like real parents and say "See that red x up in the corner, you have two choices, you can click it, or I will." This of course is rarely complied with and a screaming flailing 29 pound child is usually carried off to the torture chamber we call a bathtub. Yesterday we were getting ready for the park and I was checking my email one last time to see if something I was waiting for had been shipped.}

Mason was done being patient and looked at me dead in the eye and told me "Mommy you got one minute to push that red X and if you don't do, I will. You got that?" I couldn't do anything but laugh as my tyrannical three year old X-ed out my Mozilla window.

3. We borrowed my sister's Wii to give Mason an extra fun night of entertainment. He loves Super Mario Brothers even though it's far to advanced for a 3 year old (and his computer game failure mother). Rule is I go first and make sure all harm is out of Mario's (Mason's) way. We were on a roll, I was stomping mushrooms and de-shelling turtles like a champ. Mason looked at me so happily and proud as Mario ran swiftly behind in a path clear of destruction. He smiled at me and said "Mommy thanks for having my back". Of course, I had to laugh, but then said, "I always will".

4. So believe it or not I do own and use a vacuum. We have wood flooring (or fake wood I suppose) and so my huge area rug often gets a little shake outside to minimize my household 'chores'. Therefore, when the vacuum does make his grand appearance my boys faces look like I am chasing them in a hockey mask with a huge machete. Horror. Mason was mid Dora episode when I busted it out a few days ago. His eyes grew to the size of Jupiter and he said "Dat is NOT a vacuum, DAT is a monster mommy". I smirked and nodded, because I couldn't agree more. However I think it will fare well if we continue vacuuming once a year baby.

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