monday musings.

Mondays happen to be my least favorite day. I mean rightfully, right? Who wants to face reality after a weekend full of sunshine and fun. Not me. Mondays are not my friend. I want to petition that Mondays be a weekly holiday, an extension of a fun-filled weekend, but I'm assuming that will only make me dislike Tuesdays and I love Tuesdays, they are my calm after the storm. The Monday thunderstorm that is. I have time for Monday musings, which is random awesomeness I've concluded during this Monday.

• Happy hour is just as fun when it's at a park, post afternoon nap, with apple juice & goldfish. And the company is way better than anyone your bound to meet at a real happy hour location. Unless it's your super cool sisters or husband, in which case the company is superb.
• Dave Matthews Band does not drown out a pissed tantrumming toddler. Nor does Norah Jones, Train or The Script. No matter how much you turn the volume dial, you are going to lose. Your children can scream LOUDER. Lose.
• Traveling without benedryl but with two small children is probably not something Einstein would do. But hey, I'm not Einstein. Flight 494, back in March would probably concur.
• Raisins do not digest and Lucky Charms color Pampers not just the rainbow. Fabulous and too much information all in one sentence.
• The easter bunny is more frightening than a hockey masked fugitive.
• Baby wipes are the best mop and shower I've had access to in over a week year. And you should never pay the extra 2 bucks for brand name wipes. In case you wanted my buying advice.
• It is best to be friends with people who have children when you do. Because when you child is losing his/her shit with the fit of the century, you can rest assured theirs just did five minutes prior or will in the next five minutes. When said fit ensues, you can then whisper to yourself "Thank God it's not my kid again" and be glad people still hang out with you.
• Keep reminding your toddler that their baby brother is their pet and you will not be getting a puppy or a ferret or a killer whale for the next overly commercialized holiday or probably, ever.

Those are my Monday musings. You should take notes, because even though I don't play an expert on TV, I'm one in real life. My husband is in the process of throwing away his Encyclopedias as we speak. He married the wealth of all knowledge. Monday is for musings. I will not be held responsible for your actions based on my expert advice above. Can I get a drink?