2 {Max}

Max,

Oh sweet boy. You turned two this morning. I can't even believe it happened so quickly. The minute your floppy little body landed on my chest when you were born, I knew one day you'd laugh and run. I knew one day you'd turn a year old. And then you'd be two. I knew it would happen. But as always the year flew by and it happened a little too quickly. Your cheeks have slimmed over the last few months, your face is fighting to look like a boy not a baby, but your hands and your delicious thighs are clinging to more familiar tunes of toddler hood. And for once, I'm not complaining about all things chubby. Last night I procrastinated laying you down, bedtime was nearly two hours late - I was trying to avoid the obvious. But the time kept ticking and morning came. And two, well two years old, still happened.

You're language is erupting. It seems like each day brings a new word. One of my favorite things about you is the way you talk, your lips are plump and simply adorable. The way you purse them together to make words melts me. We've been practicing Happy Birthday with you and now it's your favorite song. I'm pretty sure you think it's a game. Immediately following the last line of the chorus, you begin blowing. Imaginary candles? Sure why not after all it is your birthday.

The minute you wake up in the morning you are giggling. You clutch to your blanket and still suck your thumb, but the minute we arrive at the bottom of the stairs you start asking for breakfast. Your breakfast of choice - COOKIES. You love yogurt and cereal too. Most morning you lick your bowl dry. A foodie in the making.

You have a new found love for swimming. I guess that would come natural for a summer baby. Some mornings you get all excited and bring me your swimsuit and loudly repeat "mem-ming, mem-ming!" Luckily for you we do go swimming most everyday.

 You are spirited. Determined. Full of life. God forbid someone try and assist you in getting down from your chair or out of your car seat. The phrase of the month - "DIE DO". Obviously, you got the memo that two means independence. You are ready to move out and start  live on your own. Most days you refuse any sort of help, which leads to backward shoes and shorts, major bedhead and a face encrusted in donut icing.

You love splashing during bath time, snuggling during nap time, and laughing pretty much all the time. You have a special little spunk in your step that makes you all the more YOU.

I can't believe you've been here twenty four whole months, yet I can't remember life without you. Two years gone and many more to come. My birthday wish for you is lots more giggles, many more sleepy slumbers, heaps of sloppy kisses, hundreds more brotherly quarrels and most of all that you keep marching to the beat of your own drummer.

I love you more then I knew was possible. I love you with every ounce of my being and every beat of my heart. I love you to the moon and back. Always and forever.

 Happy second birthday baby boy!

Dentist trip.

We had our regular dentist cleaning trip this week. I took both big boys. We survived. And I even got some pictures. I know, I know, shocking.

 

 {Mason was that thrilled...and then bribed with $1 to smile, but of course Max looked away *sigh*}

 

This was Max's first trip. He surprised me and did GREAT. He kept showing me his pearly whites all day after. He's a toothbrush lover and so his goodie bag including a new one was like a bag of GOLD.

masonisms.

• The other day I was rushed getting ready for Mason's school Easter egg hunt. I had no more than ten minutes to get both Alexander and myself presentable, grab Mason's basket, load Max and be out the door. I slid my closet door open and lo and behold a maxi dress. PERFECT. Maybe it will look like I haven't been bathed in newborn spit up and showered this week. Mason anxiously walked in the room to ask when we were leaving. He did a double take and asked, "Mommy, why are you wearing that shirt? Are you getting married today?" Apparently I should probably try to get dressed in something besides a t shirt or pajamas in the next six weeks.

• Mason had a huge growth spurt recently so almost all of his clothes aren't fitting. I took the opportunity to take him shopping, just the two of us. He loved it. He insisted on picking out all his own clothes. For the first time I had little to no say in his wardrobe. Thankfully - homeboy has some style. As we were checking out at Gap he grabbed some really adorable aviator style glasses and declared "Oh my gosh Mommy, I have GOT TO HAVE THESE". Later, we were trying on swimsuits, we'd already picked one, but I saw another really cute one (you can never have too many swimsuits!!) and instead of going all the way back to the dressing rooms I told him to just hurry and try it on right there. He obliged and undressed himself down to some cute Spiderman undies - a lady passed by with her daughter and Mason looked at me with red cheeks and said "AWKWARD". I was dying of laughter. He's quite the sass.

• After a long day of boating Michael had jokingly told Mason he was SO hungry he was going to eat Max. Instead of being sad, confused or slightly worried for his younger brother Mason was so excited to eat him also. When they walked back in to the condo at the lake he exclaimed proudly "Mommy start up the fire, were gonna grill up Max and EAT HIM". He was DEAD SERIOUS. I even had to tell him that Michael was just kidding. He pouted and said "Please let's grill him up Mommy!!!" I agree - Max is DELICIOUSLY adorable, but we will NOT be eating our little brother today Mase. Sorry kiddo. 

• Mason's class had their Easter lunch/party a few weeks ago. I took all three of the boys so it was a little hectic, because Max runs amok like the classroom is his palace. I recently learned (from our Fiesta party outing) that it wasn't really realistic to have Max walking, while I fed Alexander next to the parking lot. I came prepared this time, Max in stroller and a bottle ready for baby. Towards the end of the lunch and egg hunt, Alexander got a little fussy so I got his bottle out and started feeding him. Mason - the proud big brother he is - started telling all his little friends about his new baby and how he cries a lot, sometimes he laughs (but he really doesn't) and how he eats ALL THE TIME (he really does). Out of nowhere Mason's raspy voice started to get a little louder, a little louder, and then boom in full on yell he exclaims "...and sometimes my mommy feeds that baby with her NIPPLES". Inside voice Mase, INSIDE VOICE.

i never thought.

I always had notions of the kind of mother I would be. High hopes or perhaps false pretensions of what motherhood really entailed. I never thought I would be that mom.

I never thought I'd have to leave the grocery store mid meltdown. I never thought I'd be limited to the three restaurants in town with playscapes and sandboxes - because surely my kids would be well mannered and sit down to eat anywhere I chose to dine. You know because that was the kind of mom I was going to be. The reality is very different then the picture I'd conjured up of what parenting was all about. Much harder yet much more rewarding. And you know what? The meltdowns and the chaos of eating out, well it's part of the gig, and I never thought it would come so easy, be a new normal.

I never thought I would have a sassy mouthed four year old. I never thought I'd let my firstborn co-sleep for just under three years. Surely, I would not have a three year old who still loved his pacifier. I mean that wasn't the  mom I was going to be. I never thought I'd have all boys or three babies in just four years. I never thought I'd let my kids afternoon dip in the pool count as a bath. And if the pool wasn't enough - I never thought I'd use baby wipes to finish up bath time. I never thought I'd choose v-necks over trendy tops.

I never thought I'd give my kids lots of processed, sugary foods, but damn it sometimes a Capri Sun and a handful of M&M's is all that is getting us through the afternoon. I never thought I'd laugh manically at a tantrum, on the verge of losing all sanity. I never thought I'd serve cereal for dinner. I never knew dinner could be at 5:30 pm or tossed on the floor within thirty seconds. I never thought I'd cook three meals, because NO ONE WANTS TO EAT VEGETABLE STIRFRY.

I never thought I'd buy matching clothes for my kids. I never thought I'd let my child leave the house in one rain boots and one neon orange Croc, because for the love of God we have to get to the preschool play before it ends. I never thought I would never again be on time to any given event. Ever. I never thought I'd hype up the Easter bunny or have to explain the tooth fairy. I never thought I'd love staring in to the magical little twinkle of a little boy's eyes as he retold his encounter of waking up to hidden eggs and a Slinky Dog.

I never thought I'd sit my kids in front of trashy, mindless cartoons. I never thought my kids would slip out a curse word in public. I never thought I'd have a toddler roaming a restaurant with no pants or maybe topless. I never thought I'd enjoy animated movies so much, because they come with holding a soft little man's hand sharing popcorn. I never thought I'd bargain with my kids. Surely, what I said would go. I never thought I'd cave to their begging and fit throwing. I never thought I'd say "If I count to three, before you do xyz....". I never thought I'd actually  be counting ALL DAY LONG.

I never thought the floorboard of my car would be smothered in a trail of crunched goldfish and cheerios. I never thought my fridge would be covered in magnets that randomly moo or quack at me. I never thought I'd be the one picking up fifteen legos or forty eight randomly scattered animal figurines, because the kind of mom I was going to be would have her children cleaning their OWN messes. I never thought I'd love the sight of baby toes, the smell of newborn skin and the bustle of a full day.

I knew I would love my children. I knew I would do what I had to do to parent them.I knew I would be slightly biased and bursting with pride in every small feat they accomplished. But, I never in my wildest dreams thought I would love being a mom so much. I just never thought I would be that mom.

our weekend: snapshot edition

We had an action packed weekend. It was so much fun. We celebrated Fiesta and even though we've lived here pretty much forever, we've never taken Mason to ANY Fiesta events. So 2011 marks his first of many crazy parades outings. He really liked it, it was pretty hot, but surprisingly cool.

Max really loved it, I hesitated on my decision on whether to take him or not but ended up deciding he could join us. He jammed out to every high school band that played, he dug in to his (and everyone elses) snow cone - with his hands. Mason begged for a "chicken wing" which was really a turkey leg, but in all my brilliance I forgot cash. Actually I brought just enough cash for a cheap plastic sword...yup, just one. You know my car ride home was barrels of fun. MEMO TO SELF: TWO OF EVERYTHING (someday I suppose it'll be THREE).

Mason's school parade & pinata  festivities. Even Max got a chance to hit the pinata. He made the most of his two swings, thrusting the stick with every ounce of energy his little body possessed. Apparently Alexander is not amused with this Fiesta business.

We swam.

Grilled.

Then swam again.

We ate lunch in our pj's.

We cracked open cocoons, to collect red berries. This is a very serious occupation when you are four years old. Or so it appears.

Some of us just slept the entire weekend. Okay, really he doesn't sleep that much considering he's a newborn. Or a very small infant. He's more alert and awake more hours of the day then either of the big boys were. He must know if he's asleep he'll miss out on the craziness. And there is a lot of crazy. Obviously.

We played scrabble, sipped Sangria and ventured out to NIOSA (which was quite an adventure).

And then...you guessed it...we swam. SOME MORE.

{1 month}

Alexander,

Wow. It's been an entire month since you were born. It was a quick month sweet guy. You slept a lot of it away, mostly during the days, keeping me up most of the nights. Your at least ten pounds, most of which I believe is being held hostage in your cheeks. Everywhere we go, people stop to comment on your thick head of hair.

You have two dimples. A pair of pouty lips too die for - your bottom lip, oh man, it's going to win you basically anything you want in life. EVER. You legs are so skinny and long, your feet are huge, you hands are soft as can be. The only thing you prefer to sleeping is eating. Though your constant want and need to be fed is taking a lot of my sleep away (and really, one thing I need is a good night's sleep - ask anyone) I love holding you closely while you eat. I take this time to examine your every feature. I study your lips and chin as you suck, you smack your little lips and every single time you eat you lay your hand right between my breasts. You take deep breaths and I've memorized the rhythm of each inhale and exhale.

I have tried to, and am succeeding in savoring (almost) every minute of your newborness. It is fleeting. Each morning when I wake up, a little bit of the newness of your face fades. I'm not sure when a newborn technically becomes an infant, but I think we are about to embark on that milestone. I am so excited to watch you grow, to watch you form a strong bond with your brothers, but I am aware that you are my last chance to relish the firsts. The first smile, the first laugh, the first time you roll over. With your first moments I will be closing a chapter of babyhood, the very last baby. I want to remember the way you clench your fists when you eat or get anxious, the way your ears lay flatly against your head, the way your big toe nails grows in raggedly. I want to remember it all - every detail.

 Sometimes you laugh in your sleep. It starts with just a little smirk, a tease of what is about to come. Then the whimper, the giggle and alas, the smile. You flash both dimples and as quickly as the smile was flaunted, you wipe it away, and silence falls over your face. I'm sure there is some super smart scientific explanation to why tiny newborns do this and maybe it's just involuntary. But I don't want to hear it; it makes my heart want to explode. The sight and sound of you giggling is worth missing sleep for. And trust me, have I mentioned, we are missing some sleep.

Speaking of sleep - you refuse to fall in to a deep slumber, unless your being held or on your belly. You're my very first belly sleeper. And it's against all the pediatrician and parenting rules, this belly sleeping business. But you don't care about any of that. You are a rule breaker.

I'm all over the place in this letter. Not sure what I want to tell you. Except, that you are wonderful. You are adorable. You love to snuggle and although I am not a fan of cuddling, I will cherish every cuddle you will give me. I will nuzzle your soft, plump cheeks. And I will kiss you a thousand times every single day. I want you to know that even though you are not my first baby, you came with a novelty all of your own. You are special to us in the same way both your brothers are, but in a different way too.

I want you to know that in one short, very quick month, you have completely won me over. I love you with every breath in my body. I am so glad you are all mine.

Happy one month Alexander. Thank you for every snuggle, every unintentional giggle, and mostly for cherished and savored moments you've given me. I know we'll have many more firsts together, but they won't be these moments, we'll never have these days back, and while they've been busy and incredibly lazy - they've been fabulous.

Loving you always.
Mama