Seriously?

I can't believe the things I find myself saying lately.

Seriously.

"We do not put our wenis on the dinner table." In case you thought that wasn't an obvious fact of life/rule/common sense, well in our house it is not. At least when your are two ("annna haveeeeeeeee") Seriously.

"Your undies do not belong on your head."

"Stop touching (insert anybody's name) nipples."

"Get the toothbrush out of your pants."

"Glow sticks do not belong in your ears. Or your nose."

"I will give you chocolate and donuts for breakfast -  if you stay in your bed." Usually quickly followed up by..."Seriously, I swear if you get out of this bed again you will not get to go to school tomorrow." Memo to self: you are punishing but NOBODY. But maybe yourself.

"No weapons allowed at nap time."

"No licking the elf."

"Cookie monster is pretend sweetie. He doesn't really want to eat your cookie."

"I know you really want to take a bath, but it's past bedtime. You can take a bath on Friday." My 4 year old actually replied very in super whine "Buuuuuttttttaaaaa we neverrrrr take bathssss". LIE. No one even wants a bath unless it's bedtime!

"Do not bite your brother."

"Take Batman out of your cereal."

Things have been super exciting and chaotic around our house lately. Most days I find myself thinking is this for real, like is this really happening?

And it is.  

Seriously.